Dear Birthmother

I am writing to you because you are facing a time of tough decisions. You don’t want a baby right now, or you feel overwhelmed with the thought of taking care of one more child. When someone suggests “adoption” to you, you cringe and say, “I could never do that to my child. How could I give my child to a stranger to live a miserable life and feel rejected?” I want to assure you that adoption is a beautiful choice. So I’d like to tell you my story and Luu’s story.

In 1999, Luu, a single Vietnamese 19-year-old woman , found herself pregnant and alone. She worked long hours for a pittance in the flooded rice fields of Northern Vietnam. Without a husband, she had no way to support herself or her baby. She was alone and scared. Who could she trust? Since Vietnam had the highest abortion rate of any country in the world, Luu could have made the easy, selfish choice to end her baby’s life. But instead she contacted an adoption agency to place her baby girl for adoption.

When I adopted Joy in Vietnam in 1999, I met the birthmother, Luu, and shared her pain. She was afraid—would her baby be happy and well taken care of in the future? Showing compassion and love in the midst of her crisis, I was able to reassure her that I would love her baby as much as she did.

Today Joy is twelve and competes at a high level in gymnastics. She has lots of friends, loves to read, and swims like a dolphin. She's happy, well‑adjusted, smart, and healthy. I truly love her with all my heart. We have a happy home, a loving church, and many good friends. What a wonderful gift Joy’s birthmother gave me when she gave me Joy! We are still in touch with Luu from time to time to let her know how Joy is doing. It brings Joy’s birthmother much happiness to know Joy is doing so well and how much she is loved. Joy knows Luu was unable to raise her and feels blessed that she has had two mothers who loved her.

I adopted Joy's sister, Manisha, after her birthmother died. God brought us together and made us a special family. I was never able to bear children, so God gave me my children through the gift of adoption. Adoption is a wonderful choice wrapped in love. Other people may not understand, but you can be proud of yourself for giving your child a good life.

Dear Birthmother, may you be as brave as Luu, and make the heroic choice of letting your baby breathe, someday ride a bike, get married, and have children of her own. May you picture your “bundle of joy” chasing butterflies in a field of hopes and dreams. Through your courageous sacrifice and the gift of adoption, another woman’s empty arms can be full of “joy.”

For more information, or to talk with an adoption counselor near you, check the yellow pages in your local phone book under "Adoption Services" or do a web search on the computer. You are under no obligation and their services are free to you.

You also have many choices in types of adoptions, such as meeting prospective birth parents, open adoption with contact, or letters to our child. Get some good counseling, and find out all of your options!