Hope and Joy in Adoption Trials: Part 2 of 5

PART 2 OF A FIVE-PART SERIES

Proverbs 13:12: “Hope deferred makes the heart sick…

My first adoption happened so quickly that I knew, without a doubt, God was in it. I arrived home with my first daughter on Mother’s Day. While my adoptive father was dying of a brain tumor, we landed at the Atlanta airport.

Mom came to greet us, along with a good friend of mine, as we celebrated the arrival of my first child. A short time later, we took the final flight back to Gainesville. From start to finish, it was one miracle after another. The entire adoption took less than two months.

Then, there is Joy. I expected the second adoption to be like my first—quick and miraculous, with many confirmations from God. That didn’t happen. From the beginning, everything was difficult. I had to redo expired documents many times that were tedious to fill out and update my home study twice. I had to pay more money for reasons I didn’t anticipate. Then the adoption agency quit working with their contact person in Vietnam over “concerns” about her integrity.

Then, the scary medical event happened. My beautiful daughter had a partial complex seizure. She spent ten days in the hospital while the doctors struggled to rule out a brain tumor. The incident took place on the five-year anniversary of the exact day that my adoptive father died of a brain tumor. Talk about surreal.

“… but when dreams come true at last…

For three long years, I wrestled with the second adoption. Every person but one dear friend told me I was making a mistake pursuing a second adoption. I admit, there were times I doubted, but I persevered. Then, the adoption agency contacted me about a three-year-old girl who was available. I said, “Yes!”

I thought everything was good. My daughter was stable from seizures, the paperwork was done, the plane ticket was booked, and I was ready to go. And then, the nightmare happened. She had another seizure. To say I was distraught is an understatement. How can I go to Vietnam when the doctors are again questioning the diagnosis?

There are many miracles in all of this that I detail in my book Children of Dreams, but the day arrived for me to go to Vietnam. I left my oldest daughter in Gainesville with a dear friend. She was one of a handful who supported me in adopting a second child. I was still trusting God that this was His will for me..

After the long flight, I arrived at the hotel in Vietnam. Other adoptive families were meeting their new infants. I watched as the moms and dads hugged their precious babies for the first time and went off to their motel rooms. I left with empty arms.

The birth mother of my baby had gone into hiding with the child I came to adopt, demanding money. The contact person that the adoption agency had stopped working with wouldn’t get in touch with me. I didn’t know what to do. I thought about all the money I had spent. Three years waiting, filling out paperwork multiple times, and all the naysayers telling me I was making a mistake, especially with my oldest daughter’s medical condition. The emotional turmoil it took on me was huge. Maybe everyone was right. I almost broke.

I left my hotel room and took a long walk around the quaint park in downtown Hanoi, crying my heart out. It was right before Christmas, with Christmas decorations adorning the streets and holiday music wafting through the air, blaring over loudspeakers in the park. I walked around the block, telling God, “I will give up my dream of adopting a second child and will go home and love the daughter you miraculously gave me. I promise I will never again try to adopt another child.”

I gave up my dream, thinking I had been mistaken, and yet I would trust God anyway, because He knew the beginning from the end. Perhaps everyone else was right. It would be too difficult. God knew what was best.

I left the park red-eyed and exhausted, but at peace knowing that if this was God’s will, I would be content with being the mother of the child God had already given me and let go of my dream to adopt another child.

“… there is life and joy.”

As I unlocked the door to my motel room, suddenly the phone rang. I ran over and picked it up—this was back in the days before iPhones, when phones plugged into walls, and on the other end of the call was my contact person. She said, “We have another child we need to place, but she’s much younger. Are you interested?”

That little baby, about 13 months old, was Joy. I cannot tell you how much joy she has brought into my life. In my heart, I knew I was supposed to have another daughter, but God tested me, just like He tested many in the Bible. It was truly a test of faith.

Isaiah 42:3 states, “A bruised reed he will not break.” God sometimes needs to bruise us to see if we will trust Him even when things seem impossible, even when we doubt, even when, in our own strength, we can’t see what God is doing.

We must remember, God is good. And He will never give us more than we can bear. But He will test us to see if we are worthy of the grand design He has laid out for us. That’s why it’s so important to stay in the Word all the time. Testing comes when we least expect it. So, we must stay sober and alert (1 Peter 5:8), in prayer, and desire to work out our salvation in fear and trembling. The Christian life is not easy. God never meant for it to be.

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