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AM I OKAY, GOD? “I Hate My Stinking Sin”

Last updated on March 9, 2024

Do not let the sun go down while you are angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.
Ephesians 4:26b‑27
We will never be free of our sins until we get to heaven. Satan will never give up taunting us, bullying us, and shaming us. As long as we live here he is the “prince of the air.”
From Seventh Dimension – The Door, a Young Adult Christian Fantasy:
We climbed the stairs to my room and a veil of darkness shrouded me—Fifi’s dead body appeared to me in a vision once more at the bottom of the stairs. I had hoped the memory wouldn’t torture me anymore, that the king would heal me. Why hadn’t he? I grabbed the post to catch my balance. The rain started to fall.
—Shale Snyder, chapter twenty-nine
Satan prowls around like a roaring lion hunting down unsuspecting victims. In I Corinthians 10:13, Paul tells us that “God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear.”
For many years, I hated many things about my life. I even hated myself at times—the fact that my father left me, that I grew up in a broken home, that I failed the first grade, that I had a speech impediment, and that I was clumsy. I felt misunderstood and unappreciated by others. I had no self-worth. I was an outcast in social circles at school. No one liked me except the smart kids, once they figured out I wasn’t dumb, and so I hung around with a bunch of nerds.
I preferred to be alone with a good book or play the guitar. I didn’t care about loud parties or drinking or concerts or smoking or any of those things in which teenagers get involved—to their detriment. I was a loner because—well, I liked being alone. My parents thought something was wrong with me.
When I got married, I expected my husband to fix me. After all, he was going to be a doctor and he should be able to be all that I needed—to make up for what I lacked in the past. The truth is, the only thing that could fix me was a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.
The sad part is this: nothing was wrong with me. I wasn’t flawed or defective or weird or antisocial or stupid or bad. I actually was and still am very creative, brilliant in some ways, self-sufficient, and uniquely made in God’s image. And so are you. I was and still am a sinner. And so are you.
Unconditional love covers a multitude of sins. That kind of acceptance and validation can only come from Jesus Christ. There’s no pill, no lover, no vacation, no job, no friend, and no food that can fill that spiritual void and remove the sting of lies and false accusations—only the healing power of our risen Savior.


If you’re like Shale, a victim of circumstances, if you’ve been hurt, go to God in prayer. Take your Bible and cover it with your tears. Allow God’s Holy Spirit to lift your crushed spirit. Corrie ten Boom once said, “There is no pit so deep that God’s love is not deeper still (The Hiding Place).”
After you’ve poured out your heart to God, find someone with whom you can confide.
Allow God’s healing in your life. Allow him to fill every nook and cranny of your heart with his love and surrender your life to him. Choose to spend the rest of your life living in forgiveness— sometimes just one moment, then one hour, then one day, then one week, then one year, then five years, then ten years. And then a lifetime.
Focus on this moment—that’s all you have. Let God worry about tomorrow. Be set free from your unresolved anger by focusing on the process of forgiving. The outcome is in God’s hands.
Dear Jesus, I know you love me, warts and all. I have sinned against you and others. I am separated from your love because of my sin. I know that you’re the only way to eternal life.
You made salvation possible through your death on the cross. Your resurrection is proof that you’re who you say you are. I accept you into my heart. Thank you, Jesus, for coming into my life right now. Thank you for forgiving me of my sins.
If you would like to hear me tell my personal testimony, I appeared on a television show in Atlanta, Georgia, “Family and Friends.” You can listen to it at the following link.
Am I Okay, God? Was a finalist in the International Book Awards for best nonfiction cover and best Christian inspirational book for 2014.

Published inAm I Okay, God?

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Lorilyn Roberts