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SINGLE PARENTING – SIXTEEN NUGGETS OF WISDOM

Last updated on November 3, 2023

Hope deferred makes the heart sick,

but when the desire comes, it is a tree of life.


Proverbs 13:12

A friend shared with me her daughter was in the process of adopting two children. The little girls had been abused in their family of origin, and the legal case was slowly making its way through the courts. As I reread her email, I prayed that God would answer every prayer my friend’s daughter sent up, just as He had answered mine.

Then the thought occurred to me: What would I say to a young mother-to-be whom God has called to “walk in my shoes”? I know each person’s situation is a little different, but similar in that a woman feels God is leading her to single parent an orphan, an abused child, or a child who might never have felt loved. What wisdom would I impart after being at this noble but difficult task for almost thirty years?

I pulled out my keyboard, and a plethora of thoughts gushed forth.

I hope my “words of wisdom” will encourage you if God has chosen you to adopt an orphan—whether you are married or unmarried, especially if you are single. With God, all impossible things are possible. Without Him, we walk alone.

  1. Single parenting is the hardest thing you will ever do but the most rewarding thing you will ever do.
  2. I would never recommend a single woman adopt. It’s too hard. I would never recommend a single woman not adopt. The blessings are too great. Allow God to tell you what to do. If God calls you to adopt, never back down, give up, despair, or listen to those who tell you differently. Nothing will prevent you from being a mother to a child if God is in it. God has a plan and a purpose. He does things His way, not ours. Trust in God. He will direct you.
  3. You will never know what tired is until you have single-parented two kids alone (or even one).
  4. God is your husband and the perfect husband.
  5. You will understand how much God loves you by adopting a child with no future and no hope, for that is how we are without Jesus.
  6. You will share the heart of God, His hands, His hope, and His “all” with your children. They will know God through your sacrificial love.
  7. You will love more than you ever thought you could, and you will fail miserably. But your children won’t mind. They will love you anyway. Acknowledge your mistakes and move on. God will shine through your shortcomings. He loves your children more than you do.
  8. God will not abandon you. He will meet every need you have more abundantly than you can imagine.
  9. The day you sign the adoption papers will be the best day of your life. God has given you a great gift—a chance to share His love with an orphan. That is the essence of our faith.
  10. “Mommy” is the most beautiful word in English.
  11. Enjoy every moment of the journey. Your children will grow up too fast—in the blink of an eye. The years will wiz by, and you will wonder where the time went?
  12. Make the most of every opportunity to love, teach, laugh, cry, and even be silly. Be a mother to the fullest. Give it your all. Go to bed exhausted. It’s the best kind of tiredness you will ever feel.
  13. Have a latte every once in a while, and read your Bible every day. On days when you can’t, know God loves you anyway.
  14. Pray hard. God is always with you. Know this is your calling and your life’s work. Your children are precious gifts from the Hands of the Creator. They are beautifully designed in His image with a future and hope because of your love freely given in His name.
  15. Love your children unconditionally. Be flexible. Learn to say, “I’m sorry.” It does wonders to restore your hurting soul.
  16. Enjoy the journey and have a blast. There is nothing else like it short of eternity!

PRAYER: Dear heavenly Father, thank you so much for my two beautiful daughters. I wouldn’t have my Children of Dreams if it weren’t for You.

To read more vignettes like this one, purchase God’s Good Works: Stories to Treasure and Tales to Ponder by clicking here.

To learn more about God’s Good Works: Stories to Treasure and Tales to Ponder, click here.

To learn more about Lorilyn’s adoption memoir, Children of Dreams, check out this link.

Children of Dreams with Coffee

 

 

Published inGod’s Good WorksStories to Treasure

2 Comments

  1. Rebecca Richburg Rebecca Richburg

    Lori, I'm posting a comment. I love this article. You hit so close to home on so many levels. I am now a single mother to my own children, and many things you said apply to me. #2, #4, #5, #7….and so on….. Being a mother, single or not, is the hardest job you will ever LOVE. And by far the most important. Thank you for spreading the word and being transparent, and letting God use you. So glad you're my friend. God bless. Becky.

  2. d'anne d'anne

    Hey! Like Becky said, nearly all of these apply to parents in general as well. And so well-put, Lori. :-] Thanks!

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